This job I do here, keeping all of you happy and informed, is a sedentary one. There’s no getting around that. Sit and watch TV. Sit and type stuff on a computer. That’s the gist.
There are times when I wish I wasn’t sitting and doing these tasks. It casts a pall over my day. But, you know, there are forces at work. Generally, these forces contact me by e-mail and phone with such questions as, “What time are you filing?” and “How long is it?” and “Are you almost there?”
Letting you in on a little insider dope from within the media racket, I can tell you that these “forces” are known colloquially as “editors.”
At regular intervals, I break free from these forces and it is devil the bit of sitting around I’m doing then. Twice a week, I do pilates of the reformer kind. (It sounds puritanical and it is.) On other occasions, I run around in circles on a jogging track at the local community centre. And many’s the time and oft I am wont to run around kicking a soccer ball, in a field of green or inside. I’m telling you, there is nothing quite like giving a soccer ball a good kick after the “forces” known as “editors” have been asking pesky questions.
This brings me, in a roundabout way, to Anjelica Scannura. There oughta be a law about Anjelica Scannura. She can frighten the life out of the sedentary. Watch Anjelica Scannura and suddenly you’re up on your hind legs doing shocking things, without even a doctor’s note to say you’re of sound mind and body to be attempting such things.
Scannura is the star of the channel called ONE. It’s been available free for the past while and it is a thing to behold. All fitness, all the time.
If your thing is watching comely people in tight workout clothes do exercise (it’s your business what gets you through the days and nights), then ONE is your nirvana. It’s yoga, pilates and fitness routines morning, noon and night. Oh, sure, there are shows about eating, too. One is called Eat Yourself Sexy, which I have yet to tangle with, obviously.
Anjelica’s Dance Workout, featuring Scannura, is on twice daily, 8 a.m. and 7 p.m. It appears to be an original production for the channel and, heavens, it is mesmerizing. “Anjelica and her fellow dancers will take you through fun, fitness-focused dance routines including Barefoot Flamenco, Irish Stepdance and some sweet Samba.” That’s the official description, but it doesn’t do it justice.
In 2013, Scannura won the title “Belly dancer of the Universe” in the U.S. of the universe, no less. I believe it, too. She says in one of her videos that dance can help stave off dementia and Alzheimer’s and it helps with “any problems you might be going through in life.” I believe that, too, without having a doctor’s note about it.
And it’s all very entertaining, but it’s the fusion of dance styles that’s mind-boggling. It is, as Scannura has acknowledged, “a visual feast.” She is the sort of figure the camera loves and one minute she’s doing flamenco, then salsa and next, she’s doing Irish step dancing. She’s no Michael Flatley, but Flatley’s not Flatley anymore, either. And by the way, Scannura claims to be Maltese and Irish in her background.
The point, one imagines, is to make Anjelica’s Dance Workout the 20 Minute Workout of today. There are some among you who will remember 20 Minute Workout from the early 1980s. It ran on CITY-TV and had a huge cult following among people who hadn’t the slightest intention of working out for five minutes, let alone 20. This channel, ONE, is owned and operated by Moses Znaimer who was owning and running CITY-TV back in the day. In fact, you could say that ONE is actually the 20 Minute Workout channel now, going 24/7 instead of once every day.
There’s nothing wrong with that. Nothing at all. I’m thinking of taking up this dancing racket, as it is taught and espoused by Anjelica Scannura. Listen, it beats running around in circles on a jogging track. I’m betting it is, anyway.
Possibly it might improve the work I do in this sedentary existence, at the whim of certain “forces.” Besides, sometimes, when running around in circles, I try to put it all in perspective. I remind myself of the dim view taken by others. Specifically, the legendary Indiana college basketball coach Bobby Knight, who didn’t think much of newspaper writers. When asked why, legend has it, he replied, “All of us learn to write in the second grade. Most of us go on to greater things.”
Anjelica’s Dance Workout at least has me moving, if not moving on.